I can hear again!…. Day 6

I didn’t think it would happen because i thought the little card you put on the door handle would blow away, but right on time my breakfast arrived. There was loads. Anyway more importantly today it was time to visit the doctors and get this ear sorted out. Being a relaxed culture when it says it is going to open at nine they really mean somewhere around twenty passed. But I didn’t care I just wanted to hear again. He gave it lots of goes with the hot water and syringe but as if being born again I could hear him. Lovely. Spent some time in the sun, had lunch then a look around the shop. I did try on the most beautiful diamond ring. It started at 800 then he magically brought it down to 600, but that is still a lot of a ring, so it stayed in the shop. Even though I could have given it a good home.

In the afternoon another treatment, hot stone massage. This was my least favourite I think, don’t get me wrong it is still good but I didn’t find it as relaxing as the previous days, a bit like getting kneaded like a piece of pastry.

More sunbathing to recover, but not to long, then a jump in the jacuzzi in the garden before another downpour of torrential rain, so we relaxed in the room before cocktails and the meal.

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It’s all go….. Day 5

When i woke it felt like i was under water, both ears were blocked this time, great. I was in a bit of a flap, because I had missed breakfast again so no cuppa, no toast and no hearing. But after I had put it into prospective, we went to the bar ordered a cuppa and a sandwich, I felt much more human, even though I still can’t hear. The weather was completely different, hot and sunny. So that gave me chance to have a bit of beach time. And to cheer me up even more I booked two more spa treatments, so that makes one a day, well it’s only polite whilst I’m here don’t you think.

After lunch went for my treatment of the day, it was so relaxing I fell asleep. She started with a foot scrub then massaged body butter all over for a deep moisturiser. After the treatment went for another sit down, it’s all go isn’t it. The day finishing as always with cocktails and food.

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This is the spa where I spent so much time, the front bit being the reception and the huts at the back the treatment rooms. The parts of the floor are made of glass so you can see the fish while you are being massaged!

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Hurricane and medical centres!… Day 4

Managed, just, to wake up in time to get breakfast, the weather looking good then an hour later it changed dramatically, just like a hurricane, strong winds, flying sand, people running from the beach, jokingly talked about a tsunami and how this island would be totally swallowed up, then turned news on, earthquake and tsunami in Japan, shit now watching the sea line rising, thought of an emergency plan, run for the highest point, the restaurant roof.

Anyway it wasn’t a hurricane, just strong winds. It dyed down, went to lunch. And of cause no holiday would be complete without a trip to the medical centre. I am currently deaf in my left ear since snorkelling yesterday. I thought it’s trapped water but apparently the water has moved wax blocking the ear canal. So I have ear drops to soften it and back on Sunday for a wash out, nice.

The afternoon was more like it, treatment number one, Swedish massage. Started with walking up the bed, over my body. My face was down looking though a glass floor watching the sea, now that’s a bit of me. It was a real push, prod, pull and slap massage, attacking every muscle in my body. Whilst I was trying to gather myself back in the reception area over a ginger tea another couple were parked at the same table, they started chatting about all the treatment they had had, have you try this, have you tried that, we are here for two weeks and we have ten treatments. I tried to ignore them in my unsociable way, but trying not to be to rude. Then the subject of the water bungalows came up and how we were thinking of upgrading for the last three nights to one, oh come and see ours they said, oh no I don’t want to impose, oh no please then you can decide whether it’s worth spending the extra money. So we did, they are great, big, private and luxurious. We stayed for a chat and I found out that actually they are very nice people, just like me really don’t like people or children on holidays. They have stressful jobs so have two weeks a year of pure heaven. Sounds good to me. So for the first time I think on holiday, we made a friend, but don’t worry I did warn them that I would probably ignore them for the rest of the holiday.

After are friend making we went on the hunt for wifi and found it up at the top reception. Did a few emails, bit of twittering, so there still is a world outside there then.

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First full day in paradise….. Day 3

Because we were so knackered and the bed was so comfortable, which makes a change, because so often when you are away the beds are horrid, either two singles pushed together so you spend your time falling down the gap, or they are too soft, this is just like goldilocks, just right. So we slept till mid morning, missing breakfast, but never mind must have needed the sleep. So went on the hunt for some food and walked around to the other side of the island and found heaven, an infinity pool over looking the sea and best of all no children allowed. So ordered a sandwich, then went for a snorkel and saw all sorts of beautiful fish including dory fishes and baby sharks. I don’t think they are babies they are just small sharks.

After lunch went and did the most important job of booking spa treatments, best part for me that is. More sleep in the sun, walked around the island, which took about 45 minutes watching the sunset, then more eating and drinking, finishing with staggering back to the hut. What a day, but someone has to do it.

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Pinch Me….. Day 2

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Dozed on the plane bed, breakfast, then landed in Male. The heat hits you as soon off you come off the plane. Funny little man points to cafe to wait for a man that will come over to tell you to get onto boat.

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We waited about an hour, watching more and more people going to their little island, but we were still sat there, thinking have they forgotten us, have we missed it, will we ever get there. Well the sure thing to get someone to come is to go to the toilet. As soon as I went to the loo, I came out everyone was waiting for me, with looks on their faces come on we have been waiting for you.

Got on the boat and it was posher than I was expecting after some of the rickety things I had seen. I was disappointed that we were not sitting outside, but as soon as it was on the off, I realised why, it was real fast, they were right it was a speed boat, it was fast, and my god it stank of diesel. Almost over intoxicating to the point as the journey went on, because I was sat at the back I could see the heads gradually start dropping down as the bouncing and rocking sent everyone to sleep. Me, I wanted to stay awake and luckily because I slept on the plane I was not feeling to bad. I wanted to take it all in and not miss drawing up near to my island paradise. And there it was the first glimps of the island and it looked every thing it says on the can, beautiful.

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We dock, and there are people waiting to greet us. We are lead to a reception area were we are welcomed with a cold flannel and a fruit cocktail, the form filling then allocated our jacuzzi bungalow. A man asked us which were our suitcases, he ordered an other man to take us to our room, it reminded me of fawlty towers with manwell, room 639, then even slower 6. 3. 9. Oh as he nods his head, he got it then. As he takes us up the beach to our room he is trying to say what things are but I didn’t understand a word and just nod politely because bless him he is trying. Here we were our new home for the next week, it is stunning, four poster bed, with a welcome heart and flowers, welcome fruit, compulsory outside loo with lizards, a garden with a sun lounge area with a lovely cold jacuzzi. It’s perfect. With a view though the palm trees to the beach.

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Right kit off, cosie on, beach here I come. My first taste of the heat on my body, ah I have arrived. The water is just the right temperature because I am fussy about cold water but this is just right. Went and had some lunch, the restaurant looked beautiful, it’s own water fall in the middle of the room, food everywhere, eat all you want, great where are my expandable trousers. Spent the afternoon doing the three S’s, sunning, swimming and sleeping, then again more eating, cocktails after a real needed long sleep.

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When I get to the airport…. Day 1

Well here I am on the train to gatwick. Sitting first class, eating steak, lager, nice. Have found out the secret destination, after a game of yes, no questions and of cause where else would have it be but the Maldives. Perfect! The train ride went so fast it flew by, helped by alcohol I think.

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Had to change trains, bye bye first class. Loos are interesting on riff raff train, lady had to move the longest bike I have ever seen so I could limbo under it, to get to the loo. Everyone looks at you knowing what you are going to do! We are sitting in what they class but it smells of shit!

Got to Gatwick, checked in and off to business class lounge, haven’t seen any famous people yet, thought I might. All these people must buy Apple products because everyone around me are on a piece of fruit! There is everything you need here from food to a help yourself bar, well except a private tunnel to take to your plane. And you don’t do bad if your flight is delayed here, you won’t starve. In fact you almost want your plane to be late just so you can get your moneys worth!

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After pealing me away from the lounge, onto the plane, find my pod, it’s not just a seat, it goes into a bed. Handy for when you are travelling over night. So after my hot flannel, champagne, eating on china plates with a proper knife and fork, I settle down for a sleep.