Daily Gems

Here is one of the amazing people that have helped me keep focused Jen Sincero

You are a badass… was one of the first books I read to help me on the road to recovery.

This email just popped onto my phone from Jen ……

Dear Badass,

Happy New Year!

I was thinking about you and your New Year’s resolutions for 2018, running wild with an optimistic “this year I’m not screwing around” fist raised high in the air.

And I realized that my personal resolution could perhaps help you keep yours. Hence, I want to share.

My resolution is to intend more this year. To make a daily, conscious choice to be more present, every morning. For example:

I intend to stop and notice five things I’m grateful for today

I intend to take a deep breath before speaking today

I intend to do something I’ve never done before today

I intend to organize my desktop today

I intend to chat up three strangers today

I intend to dole out five honest compliments today (to myself as well)

I intend to look on the bright side today

I intend to expect the best, no matter what, all day today

I love this exercise because it’s just one day at a time, which is the key to fending off overwhelm and helping you stick to things. You can do anything for one day. Hell you can set an intention before a specific moment, like before walking into a room (I intend to go slowly and take it all in), driving to the supermarket (I intend to be blown away by the miracle that is driving a car), sitting down to meditate (I intend to receive guidance on how to approach my boss for a raise), before visiting a grouchy relative (I intend to have compassion for my uncle who has had a hard life) or before taking a bite of a grilled cheese sammich (I intend to savor this bite and taste every nuance of its cheesy magnificence until I burst into tears of delight).

You can apply intentions to your resolution, no matter what it is. If your resolution is to quit smoking: I intend to treat my precious lungs like the great gifts they are today.

If your resolution is to make more money: I intend to do something that scares the crap out me that will push me towards my financial goal today.

Daily intentions are extremely powerful and simple because they break things down into bite sized chunks, shift our focus and, dare I say, make things kinda fun.

We have countless things all around us every moment to be amazed by, grateful for, thrilled about, educated from, in love with.

 All we have to do is remember to pay attention.

Here’s to a conscious and kick ass 2018!

 

Thank you Jen!! It’s exactly what I’ve been saying…

Daily habits

What are you grateful for today?

Love to you all x

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Oh What a Circus, Oh What a Show

Staying out of other peoples drama, is my todays thought…..

I have been so guilty of it in the past and am still now but more mindful of it and to stop it in its tracks. I seem to attract myself to people that are ‘drama queens’, always something major going on with there life. If you have been a bit ill with the sniffles, then they have had ‘Arabian Night flu” and the doctors said it was touch and go they nearly died! You know the kind of people I am talking about we all have them in our lives, some are as close as family members, when you think, yes finally they are settled got themselves a nice house job girlfriend…. Oh no what’s happened now… To people we work with, friends etc

I think why I am saying all of this is what has helped me in my ‘I want to feel better’ quest is to distance myself from those people, not get fully hooked in, not join their parade, and start swinging the batons around with them.

It does sound selfish really I know but they are energy zappers, spirit suckers, thought drainers.

  • So I step out of the ring
  • I let them know I still love them
  • I am saving the energy for me

love to you all x

Where Do I Start?

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Here it is then a new year, beginning of a new week, new beginnings la de da… how many times have we heard that over this last week, the pressure of it all, thinking ‘shit’ if I don’t start something new today it will be too late, then that’s it I’ve failed before I have even started, now I have to wait till next year…..

And STOP its ok its not too late, it never is, it’s always a good time to start, the only time when it is to late is when we are dead!

I know that does sound a bit morbid but it is true, doing the job I do, I’m seeing them in and seeing them out and all the in between, and one thing I am sure about until you take your last breath there is always time, hope. Now don’t get me wrong I have my days and I am not ashamed to say, well I was but I’m learning to accept them, I have suffered from depression, I still suffer anxiety on a daily basis, panic overwhelming me like a wave of water over taking my head and body and this is what I was talking about in my last post, how do I get over this…over…wrong word, I don’t think I will ever get over, but what I am doing is learning how to manage, learning how not to let it get sunk right in, learning how to let thoughts of self harm, panic, self hate pass through like visitors… nice to see you but it’s always nice to see you go ….

Daily habits, as mentioned in last post,

So if you wanted, for example to be a concert pianist, it does not happen overnight, first you would get the resources, piano, music books, then you would go to someone that already knows how to play the piano, you would get lessons, then you would take on board what they have taught, because they are the person that have already done it, then you would practice what you have been taught until you are familiar with it, trained your muscle memory, then go back to the person that has more knowledge than you and go through the cycle again, you get my drift. Well these steps are the same for everything.

I want to feel better, spoiler alert…. it is not going to happen over night, so I am going to need resources, I am going to need to learn from someone or people that have learnt how to feel better, I am going to need to take on board what they have to say, now for the big one…. PRACTICE what they have suggested, then when I want to learn more and am ready for the next step go back to the people that have learnt more than me and carry on the cycle.

Recap

  • Resources
  • Expert ….. Oh I hate that word… expert… a drip under pressure!!!! A person that knows more than I do, yes I know, I don’t know everything
  • Practice
  • Keep repeating

What I am going to do in the coming year, I am going to share what resources I am and have used, including books, YouTube videos, pinterest and my best resource good old fashioned pen and paper. The people I have gone to that have and help me, whether that is someone I have never met but their writings have inspired me, to the people around in my life. How I practice, how I make time in my busy life of working in the ambulance service and now starting a second job in a mental health hospital, a family, grandchildren, dogs, you know all those time zappers. And how I find the motivation to keep going, what helps me, what stops me sinking into the pit with my dark passenger. And if any of this helps you then great! But if it does not then I am helping someone, I am helping me.

Love to you all x

Review, Reflect, Reborn

Wow 2017 what a year you have been. I started the year buying a page a day diary and wrote on page one in big letters….

This year is about self-help

  • Heal myself
  • No more hurt
  • Say no when I want to

As a child at school I was always a secret daily writer, and considering I was named as one of the thickos, in special classes, later labeled as dyslexic ,I kept a Dear Diary everyday and I still have those now… I’ve read them through, they are no Adrian Mole but a reminder of those times. I did not write about my feelings in those times because of the fear of someone reading it but what it did unknowingly teach me was about daily habits.

Daily habits have been my saving grace this year. I am a great believer in small daily habits. It’s trendy and traditional at this time of year to be setting your New Year resolutions, which really are another word for setting goals. But how many of us keep them up? And why is that? Many reasons I suppose, time, motivation, self discipline, goal feels too big because there’s no plan in place, fear, self talk, the kids need picking up, the tea needs cooking, where is your PE kit?, oh shit the dog just peed on the carpet, Aunt Bessie is ill, my nails need cutting, new series of Game of Thrones is about to start, why did you not tell me you needed to be dressed as a book character today, as we are walking out the door!!!! The list is endless.

Back to my words I wrote at the beginning of the year,

  • How was I going heal myself?
  • How am I going to have no more hurt?
  • How am I going to find the balls to stand up and say no when I want to?

This is what I have been asking myself in 2017, because to be honest with you they are massive asks aren’t they, ones that because of forty six years of learnt behaviours, negative ways of thinking, environments and people that have shaped me, all this I am going to have to change to reach the holy grail of happiness!

How am I, in the words of Russell Brand am I going to ‘unfuck’ myself?’

What are the things that have helped towards my written words I wrote?…. You notice I don’t like to use the words ‘goal’, ‘resolutions’ because I feel that puts me under to much pressure to achieve, and then I feel a failure or a loser or weak if I don’t achieve. These are just words, thoughts, no pressure, so what if I miss a day it does not matter, I can start again tomorrow, new day, new beginning, no failures just small steps, and as long as those steps are taken it is a step forward.

So here are the words I wrote a couple of days in my diary…

 

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I am hoping over 2018, and what I have written down in my new diary is, I want to help people like me that want to unfuck themselves, maybe share with people that want to read it how I am doing it, instead of keeping my writings to myself, share some of it.

Questions to ponder…

  • How have you done this year?
  • How do you feel today?
  • What words would you write for next year?

Love to you all x

3 Things I Am Grateful For Today…

Freedom

Today I had the freedom to wake when I chose, freedom to make a cuppa tea, freedom to get back into a comfy bed, freedom of technology, freedom of my own choice, freedom to make my own decisions, if I want to go back to sleep , I can, if I want to get up and go out, I can, freedom is a beautiful thing.

Health

Today I woke up and and have the gift of a new day, I can walk without pain, I can breath without a struggle. I can see the beautiful world around me and can hear my radio and my family.

Family

Whether that is my blood family or my chosen family, they are here if I need them, here to make me smile, here to listen to me, just here.

What are you grateful for today?

From the smallest thing…

Warm cup of tea, clean sheets, day off work, stroll down to the shop, birds singing, fresh air…

 

 

WPC – Alphabet Mark Deux

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Weekly Photo Challenge

Again these pictures were taken on the same school trip, it was to enhance their creative writing, it is called the Ted Hughes trail. He is a local famous poet.

Ancestors, hold on to your wigs…

I don’t normally join in the daily post but this one caught my attention.

If one of your late ancestors were to come back from the dead and join you for dinner, what things about your family would this person find the most shocking?

Daily Post

The list would be endless to make my ancestors run out screaming with horror at the world they had come into and the family it now was!

My personal list would go something like this, try and explain half of this to time traveling stranger… divorce, gay marriage, grandchildren out of wedlock, working a ‘mans’ job, family darkness, to name but a few!

Of cause for me and to most of you nothing about this is shocking because all of this has become the norm now, times change, things move on, people develop. I wonder what it will be like for my family future?

Its one thing I have never been interested in is finding out about pass ghosts, they belong in the pass, I bet they weren’t that innocent either! x

Brain Freeze

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I’m bored!

Don’t parents just hate that expression, I know I did when my kids were young…
Bored? I’ll give you bored, there’s cleaning to be done, washing, when was the last time you cleaned the fish out…
And so on..

But I find myself saying that to myself lately, I know why it is, I’ve left a stimulating job that I had to to be thinking on my feet all the time, which got to much after ten years, so I made a change, to a job that I need no brain at all, I can do it standing on my head.

What would I like to be doing? Good question!

What I would like, and what I’m good at is two different things!

I’m good at my job, I’m confident at it, been doing it a long time, I find it easy, it’s a worth while job, it helps people, it contributes to the community. But do I still want to do it?

I do have a new venture just waiting for me in the wings, I’ve got so far, I’m on the list, but I don’t know when it’s going to start, so I’m in this limbo of brain dead. And when I do start, is it going to be all I imagine it to be.

I would like to be, what feeds my sole is drawing, baking, writing, music, using my brain and hands, but I’m not good at those, well not enough to make money from them, there are plenty of others out there already doing that much better. I think you are a very lucky person to be able to make money doing something that you have a real passion for.

Not to be negative but when you read, you can do anything you set your mind to, you do wonder, really?

I want to be a concert pianist, but you do need to have some sort of talent for that, believe you me I’ve tried, and it just ain’t going to happen.

You can enjoy your job but is it really what you want to be doing?

I try and ask myself, what would you do if money and qualifications were no worry, would you still do what you are doing now?

I shall leave you with that thought, while I find a pretty picture to add to the ombience! X

WPC – Cover Art

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Weekly Photo Challenge

I like this weeks challenge!

I shall tell you why, this is actually a cover I have given to some writing I have started to put together. I have, like many, popped some things down, do you want a read of how it starts….

I am even afraid to start, and where do you start? I don’t know I’m sure, where would you start telling strangers about your journey? Every ones life pathways are all going in different directions. My journey, (even though I hope I am not even halfway through yet), has weaved an interesting path so far, well I think so any- way, and you might find it interesting, or even helpful to know that there is some- one who might have had the same experi- ences as you, that you are not the only one, you are not alone. Some might judge my story, well lets face it all of you will, we all judge, we are making judgments about people all the time conscience and sub consciously, some right, some wrong.

I am going to have to write this my way,

My friend, I’ll say it clear, I’ll state my case of which I’m certain.

I am no writer and no reader. I can count on one hand how many whole books I have ever read. So the paragraphs are going to be small for the low concentration levels of some, like me. There are going to be pictures, I have always liked books with lots of pictures, it’s something pretty to look for us visual learners…..

So there we go! X

Writing 101 – Day Nineteen – Reverse Bucket List

400 words… Free writing, scary, no editing, tricky!

My reverse bucket list, many people have their bucket list of things to do before they die, I wonder where that name came from, bucket, anyway. So thought I would do my reverse bucket list of all the things I don’t want to do before I die.

The first has got to be anything to do with extreme heights, like parachute jumps or bungee jumps. Who in their right mind voluntarily throws themselves off or out of something? I know a lot of people do but that is not for me, thank you very much.

I do not do being cold or wet on any level, so this means I do not want to visit anywhere like Alaska, go skiing, in fact anything to do with snow or ice you can rule me out, and yes I know many of you will say how beautiful all that is, but I can see pictures of it all from the comfort of my home.

Become a naturist, no way on earth am I going to bare all for anyone. Have my bits dangling or see anyone else’s bits swinging in the wind.

Learn a new language, I know you will say how lazy, but I have tried but I just don’t get it. I struggle with my own language at times, so having to translate that into an alien speak is just to much for my brain to take.

This is one I’m sure that many of you will disagree with, I know, but I have no desire to see the northern lights. I have seen lots of pretty pictures of it but the thought of traipsing to a cold place, get up early to possibly catch a flicker in the sky does not appeal to me, sorry!

Doing a triathlon does not appeal either. I might at a push attempt a marathon one day. But I think a triathlon is related to the fact of having to get wet and I don’t do bikes either.

Go back packing for a year. I just never have seen the attraction to the whole back-pack for a year thing. I like to be home, I like to wash my clothes regularly and sleep in my bed. So unless the sofa is moving with me, i might manage a week.

Climb mount Everest, we had a man come and do a talk at school who had climbed Mount Everest, it was an amazing achievement for him, but it totally put me off, because what I didn’t realise was you don’t just plod your way upwards, but so your body gets used to the altitude you go up a bit then come back down, up a bit more then come back down, then go up a bit more then come back down, you get the idea. Well you end up climbing it a dozen times just to get to the top. No thank you.

Eat live spiders or any other kinds of bugs, don’t feel the need to prove myself to anyone, and that includes me. Plus, both me and my body know we can’t handle it, and we are fine with that.

Be pregnant again, done that, got the t shirt and stretch marks to prove it didn’t like it then, and wouldn’t like it now.

Swim in the big wide ocean. One word: sharks. Two words: jelly fish. Two other words: rip tides. See also: “cold”, “choppy”, “cramps”, “search was called off on account of darkness” and “not waving but drowning”

Well I think this might be around the 400 word mark, but I don’t have a word count on the ipad.

What would be on your reverse bucket list? I would be interested to know! X

Writing 101 – Size Matters

This challenge I found interesting, to describe where you lived at the age of twelve. Well I have started to write about this on the page St Trinians with a slash of Hogwarts
At the age of twelve my home was a boarding school, and I wanted to write about it because the experience effected me deeply. So this is the beginning of it….

I thought I would share with you my experience of secondary school because I think I’m safe to say that my adventure was different to most people. Just imagine a place that was a mixture of the fun and excitement of St Trinians, the mystery of Hogwarts, and the incarceration of prison, that was the place where I was sent. I say sent, I went willingly, but I think it was not ‘what it said on the tin’, or the picture that was sold to me. I went because I was told that I would have to give up my dancing when I go to secondary, bearing in mind I was dancing every single day, it was my life, so yes I would have done anything to continue. It sounded like heaven dancing, singing, music and drama all day and weekends, even better, all of this and with no parents. What more could a you want?

The process to get into the school was rigorous, even to get an interview at the school, photos, and letters needed to be completed before you set a toe on the grounds. The audition day was jam packed with, a singing, dancing, drama, and academic tests. There seemed to me that there was hundreds of hopefuls going for a place at this prestigious school, that I did not think there was a hope in hell that a young naive farmer girl like me would never be good enough for a place like this. The only thing that I thought had going for me was when the head teacher was interviewing me in front if a panel of five, and a room full of peers, worst than the x factor, was she asked what my father did for a living, I said a farmer, her eyes lit up. Maybe she thought oh this one will be alright because her dad owns land, he will be able to pay the fees.

And so that day came and went and we played the waiting game for the letter to arrive to give us the verdict, is she in or is she out? Well she was in and the excitement of this new adventure was just great at the time. I could boost to children of where I was going, which I relished in because up till now I had just been there in the background not really good at anything no one really noticing me, but oh they took noticed now, especially my dancing chums, because some of them had tried to get into a school like this and couldn’t or their parents could not afford the fees. I was in the local paper, which was not hard I suppose, because I would only have to sniff and mother put it in the newspapers. But all in all I was enjoying this new found celebrity statues. Just getting the uniform or should I say uniforms was an adventure in its self. The never ending list arrived for the paraphernalia we needed to have, there was five sets of different uniforms, daily wear, summer uniform, winter uniform, Sunday best uniform and dance uniform, all of this to be purchased from a huge department store in London. So with all this you can imagine my eagerness to get to this magical place was at fever pitch. Little did I know how quickly this would fizzle away.

First day had arrived and after travelling seven hours with large full red trunk in tow, we finally arrived and drove up the gravel driveway. The only way I can describe it is something out of ‘Sense and Sensibility’. Bearing in mind I was looking at this through the eyes of an eleven year old everything looked enormous, the building was majestic, an original Rothschild mansion. The main entrance was over towered by two stone pillars which looked like they were guarding the wooden doors and what was beyond. I was in ore and feeling apprehensive to even getting out of the car. There was what seemed like, hundreds of cars with little wide eyed faces peering out of their car windows, being guided were to park, I had arrived. Were to go now? Walking between the stone guards we went up the staircase and into the lobby area which was floor to ceiling covered in photos of people past, royalty, cups and certificates. Gave them my name and was pointed towards a door. When I walked through the door what I saw to me was just this mystical place, a grand stairway going up, doors, pillars, marble floor, and a huge glass window which the height of the hall looking into a room which was the first dance studio I saw, but this studio was no ordinary dance studio that I had seen before. It was panelled with oak, had gargoyles glaring down at you, two fire places that you could stand in, barres, mirrors, and a grand piano situated in the large bay windows. We were told to put my trunk in the ballet room, which was one of the doors off the hallway. Yet another studio, this one was decorated in pale blue, again had a fire place, barres, mirrors and another grand piano. The room was jammed with trunks all sizes and colours, in joined my red one. What next? We wondered around aimlessly taking in the surroundings found two more studios off the main hallway. One a red room which looked out to the back gardens, where there was tennis courts. A room, which was a ballroom, the grandest room yet. It had a fireplace that had two marble angels either side hovering, glaring over you. The scent of the whole place was dust. There were many clusters of parents with their offspring all doing the same as us, wondering around not quite know what was going to happen next. Then it was indicated that the parents had to leave their blossoms. Now as far as I can remember I could not wait for my parents to leave, not even watching them go it was kind of a ‘ya right then bye’, then they were gone. I wish in hindsight that I had savoured their leaving because this was the last time I was to see them or speak to them for seven weeks. A bit like the doors in ‘porridge’, bang our sentence began.

That was it I was on my own, a new everything. I don’t really remember how I got there but I was shown to my dormitory. It was in another building so walking to it gave me opportunity to get a glimpse at more of my new home. I was taken down a staircase beyond the hallway which brought us to a basement. This looked dark and grey, a contrast to the grandeur of upstairs, the walls concrete and tiled, a rabbit warren of corridors. This must have been where the servants lived and worked when the mansion was owned by the Rothschild’s. We went through and then out a back door into a courtyard. Across and beyond was a building they called the Clockhouse, probably because of the great big clock on top of the building. To the left of the Clockhouse was a conservatory kind of building, which inside has potters wheels, art work, benches, and sculptures. I was taken in through the front door of the Clockhouse and up a sweeping staircase, along a rickety corridor, with many doors along, to a door that was last but one to the end, numbered seven. Here we were my cell, or should I say room. I do not know what I was expecting, you have visions in your head of boarding school dormitories, don’t you, of these large long rooms, with rows of beds either side, a bit hospital like. Well this was not what I was thinking at all, I walked through the door and I saw four beds, four chairs, four chests of drawers and three hard looking pairs of eyes staring at me, in a room smaller than my lounge now. The other three beds had been taken there was one left, I guessed this must be mine then. It was in the corner, behind the door. Just as was just thinking what next, the strangest looking person flung the door open. She was, I would say in her seventies, but I bet she was younger than she looked. She had a humped back, dragon like features and the brightest purple hair I had ever seen. She introduced herself as Mrs Veal in her crackly voice and she was the matron, scary, this was my part time mother, help. She spoke about rules, regulations and I don’t know what. In time I was to learn her catch phrase, ‘I just don’t want to know’, she would say this after she had asked what you were doing, and before you had chance to get your sentence out she without fail would come out with her catch phase. Seriously why did she ask then?

Writing 101, Day Six and Seven combined!

I have kinda started a story linked with both prompts, about two characters and their dialogue! I find crime writing very interesting and there could be a lot of scope with the chararcters.

I literally have wrote this in fifteen minutes, in between getting home from a busy day at school and cooking my sons tea and going out to the pub. So sorry it isn’t more extended, basically short, but it gives you an idea, and maybe you can come up with your own conclusions about what has happened. Enjoy! X

Inspector Hill heard the footsteps coming down the echoey corridor. ‘Ok she’s on her way, keep it cool’ he thought to himself. The door swung opened and there she finally stood, the one that had nearly got away. The inspector was surprised on how small she was, quite frail looking really, older than he was expecting. Her head hanging down, grey streaked hair covering most of her face, not quite being able to see her eyes. Clothes baggy, not fitting. Hands dangling in the oversized cuffs.
“Sit down”, the inspector ordered, pointing to the chair.
She shuffled over and eased herself down, head not rising.
“Have to been read your rights?”, the women didn’t speak.
“Have you been read your rights?” He repeated.
“Yes”, finally came an answer.
“Do you want your solicitor present?”
“No!”
“The prisoner waves their right to a solicitor” speaking into the recorder.
“Ok, let’s start at the beginning, you said in your first statement that on the night of October the 3rd you were woken by your husband making, quote ‘funny’ noises next to you, is this correct?”
“Yes, but..”
“Then, when you put the light on and looked over to him he was covered in blood, is this correct?”
“Yes, but I ….”
“You pulled the bed clothes off of him and you noticed there was blood coming out of his stomach, did you try to stop the bleeding? why did you not call for an ambulance as soon as you discovered he was injured?, why..”
Suddenly rising to her feet, slamming her hands on the table, looking the inspector straight in the eye, “I did, you don’t understand, I don’t know what happened, I was asleep, one minute I was going to sleep next to my husband, the next I am sleeping in a pool of blood”.

Writing 101, Day Five: Be Brief

You stumble upon a random letter on the path. You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter.

Today’s twist: Approach this post in as few words as possible.

Lovely, I love short and sweet!

What’s that?
A letter?
Shall I pick it up?
No ones about,
Well just a peek
Oh look it accidentally opened…..honestly your honour
Dear reader,
If you are reading this then you are already dead!
Shit

Writing 101

Writing 101, Day Three: Top Three Songs

Write about the three most important songs in your life — what do they mean to you?

What a tricky one, considering music is my life, being brought up in a musical family, being a dancer, teaching dance, being a choreographer, now a music teacher. To narrow it down to three is difficult, but I will give it a go! 

1. Has to be from my favourite band Queen ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ I have chose this because this song always cheers me up, makes me jump up, turn the volume up high and sing at the top of my voice.

2. Is Frank Sinatra ‘Theme from New York, New York’ again this is another song that uplifts me and I can’t sit still to. 

3. If you were to look on my iTunes to the song that has been played the most, so I am guessing this is one of my top favourites, is ‘Listen’ by Beyoncé. There is a pattern here I think because all the songs I like are belters. 

There are many songs that bring back memories and emotions to me, we would be here all day, but those three were the first to come into my head, so they must mean something! X

Writing 101 Day Three

Writing 101 Day 1 & 2 – A Place Called Heaven

Writing 101

 I am going to combine yesterday’s subject of just free writing for 20 mins and to today’s idea of what place would I zoom to right now, if that’s ok, because it kills two birds in one stone…. Where ever that saying comes from! I don’t class myself as a writer, and for a creative person I’m not so good at writing about fantasy, only reality. 

Sipping on my last dreg of tea, a breeze gently sweeps across my face. I shut my eyes, lift my head up and like a sunflower staining to find the last ray of the sun, the feeling of warmth shrouds my face like a hot flannel. Instantly the tension that has been building up softens, I sigh inwardly. Around me, peace, silence, except for the hypnotic, almost rhythmical movement of soft waves caressing the sand. I slowly open my eyes and before me is blue, upon silver, upon blue, layers of heaven sparkling. I don’t want to move, I want to soak up the moment so it never ends, it will, I know, but just a bit longer, let me stay here with nothing that needs to be done, teach, say, arrange, manage, cope with, just nothing, a great big pit of nothing. Not a mother, a partner, a teacher, a listener, a friend, just me.

I know that isn’t much for 20 minutes of writing, but it is about setting a scene I think. I would say I hope you are all there with me, but I would be lying.

Happy birthday!

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Well I have just noticed I have achieved my February photo challenge, I managed to post everyday for the month of February, I’m a little chuffed with myself. Shining chuffty badge as we speak!

The picture is of my baby boy who is eighteen today, so eighteen years ago I gave birth, how weird is that! I now have two adult sons! Bloody hell, excuse me, but where did that time go?

It seems only yesterday that at the age of three he was having a birthday party dressed as Woody, having a tantrum every time he didn’t win a game, and me saying he would never have a party again…..and I don’t think he has actually… Except tonight!

Only yesterday when I was dropping him at primary school, only yesterday watching him play Willy Wonka in a primary school performance, only yesterday his first day at secondary school. Where has the time gone?, I don’t feel any older, I just feel like I did then. But I must admit I am looking forward to the plans ahead, gap years in Canada, university etc!

Now as I speak I am at my MIL house while I have left him to have a house party…. Do you think I will have a house to go back to tomorrow? X

Feb Photo Challenge 28 – The Girls

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These are my chick chicks, or also known as ‘the girls’.

We adopted them from a neighbour who moved and couldn’t take them with them. Chickens are so easy to keep. As you can see I have gone for the black and white theme again. I think it works! X

Feb Photo Challenge 27 – Lets Dance

Daily Prompt: Let’s Dance

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Daily Prompt

After reading today’s daily prompt, I just had to join in today. The question they ask is,
What are your earliest and fondest memories of dance?

As a few of you know, but if you don’t dance has been the main factor in my life. It consumed my childhood and I’m still dancing now. So for the last 42 years I have been dancing.

The question above I think is in two parts, first the earliest memory, which for me was at the age of two and a half. That was my first stage appearance. I was performing in a pantomime, Jack and The Beanstalk, and I was the mini jack who popped out of a pie that jack had been put in and he had shrunk, so my part was to hide in the pie side stage, then the giant pie got wheeled onto stage and out I popped. I did a twirl and a curtesy and then ran off stage being chased by widow Twankie. I remember this in so much detail. So that is my earliest dance and stage performance.

Now fondest will be harder to answer, baring in mind I was going to ballet from the age of two, dancing classes every night whilst at primary age, then off to ballet school at the age of eleven, then off to performing arts college at sixteen, then becoming a performer, then a dance teacher and still a dance teacher till this day. So as you can imagine in the last forty years I have done hundreds of performances, exams and classes, in all sorts of different places, in fields, in theatres, in residential homes, in studios, in village halls, in schools, on floats to name but a few. So to choose the fondest is very difficult.

But then if you look at the question, it says the fondest memory ‘of’ dance, so my fondest memory, that sticks with me, is when I was a child, I don’t know what age, I was taken to see the ballet Swan Lake at the big top. I remember the emotion I felt as I was watching the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I was mesmerized, glued to the ballerinas, watching their feet, their extended legs, the mens high jumps and the music just swept me away. Still now when I watch it I could cry all the way through because it is so beautiful, in fact there is a lump in my throat now just typing this. It’s amazing how something can touch you like that, and for someone else they feel nothing.

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Finish Me!

What a great idea today from the ghosts in your dashboard when I looked in my drafts I had three unfinished works. So I have taken your idea of setting a writing challenge and getting one of my readers to finish it for me.

This isn’t one of the daily prompts from WordPress but this is one of my ideas for a writing prompt I wanted to share with you. The trouble is I am not so good at writing about what I haven’t experienced, I am much better at non fiction about my life. So if somebody feels they would like to carry on where I started I will show you where I got to (not far) or if you wanted to use it as one of your writing prompts please do, but link me somehow so I can read it, that would make me very excited, (doesn’t take much does it!)

Go to your bookshelf, choose the 6th book along, open that book up to page 28, and use the first sentence on that page to open your story!

So here’s mine, the book was called ‘Yes’ or ‘no’ by Spencer Johnson

The young man grinned and said, “What are my options?” Hiro laughed

As he shunted the gun harder into their unwelcome guest ribs. The young man looked around the room he had found himself in and weighed up his options…..

Daily Prompt: Unleash Your Inner Dickinson

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Daily Prompt

National Poetry Writing Month is nearly at at end. To celebrate it, try your hand at some verse.

On my seat….

Sit here and think
By myself
Once was busy
Now is bare

Sit here and think
Time for me
Just one minute
Then I’ll be ready

Sit here and think
You can come too
There’s room
On my seat

I wrote this poem a while ago, I’m not any kind of poet or anything but this picture, which I took at ‘Dartington Hall’ in Devon, just must have inspired me to break out into verse!

Thanks for dropping by! X