Daily Gems

Posted on January 3, 2018 by Small Steps

Here is one of the amazing people that have helped me keep focused Jen Sincero

You are a badass… was one of the first books I read to help me on the road to recovery.

This email just popped onto my phone from Jen ……

Dear Badass,

Happy New Year!

I was thinking about you and your New Year’s resolutions for 2018, running wild with an optimistic “this year I’m not screwing around” fist raised high in the air.

And I realized that my personal resolution could perhaps help you keep yours. Hence, I want to share.

My resolution is to intend more this year. To make a daily, conscious choice to be more present, every morning. For example:

I intend to stop and notice five things I’m grateful for today

I intend to take a deep breath before speaking today

I intend to do something I’ve never done before today

I intend to organize my desktop today

I intend to chat up three strangers today

I intend to dole out five honest compliments today (to myself as well)

I intend to look on the bright side today

I intend to expect the best, no matter what, all day today

I love this exercise because it’s just one day at a time, which is the key to fending off overwhelm and helping you stick to things. You can do anything for one day. Hell you can set an intention before a specific moment, like before walking into a room (I intend to go slowly and take it all in), driving to the supermarket (I intend to be blown away by the miracle that is driving a car), sitting down to meditate (I intend to receive guidance on how to approach my boss for a raise), before visiting a grouchy relative (I intend to have compassion for my uncle who has had a hard life) or before taking a bite of a grilled cheese sammich (I intend to savor this bite and taste every nuance of its cheesy magnificence until I burst into tears of delight).

You can apply intentions to your resolution, no matter what it is. If your resolution is to quit smoking: I intend to treat my precious lungs like the great gifts they are today.

If your resolution is to make more money: I intend to do something that scares the crap out me that will push me towards my financial goal today.

Daily intentions are extremely powerful and simple because they break things down into bite sized chunks, shift our focus and, dare I say, make things kinda fun.

We have countless things all around us every moment to be amazed by, grateful for, thrilled about, educated from, in love with.

All we have to do is remember to pay attention.

Here’s to a conscious and kick ass 2018!

Thank you Jen!! It’s exactly what I’ve been saying…

Daily habits

What are you grateful for today?

Love to you all x

Where Do I Start?

Posted on January 1, 2018 by Small Steps

Here it is then a new year, beginning of a new week, new beginnings la de da… how many times have we heard that over this last week, the pressure of it all, thinking ‘shit’ if I don’t start something new today it will be too late, then that’s it I’ve failed before I have even started, now I have to wait till next year…..

And STOP its ok its not too late, it never is, it’s always a good time to start, the only time when it is to late is when we are dead!

I know that does sound a bit morbid but it is true, doing the job I do, I’m seeing them in and seeing them out and all the in between, and one thing I am sure about until you take your last breath there is always time, hope. Now don’t get me wrong I have my days and I am not ashamed to say, well I was but I’m learning to accept them, I have suffered from depression, I still suffer anxiety on a daily basis, panic overwhelming me like a wave of water over taking my head and body and this is what I was talking about in my last post, how do I get over this…over…wrong word, I don’t think I will ever get over, but what I am doing is learning how to manage, learning how not to let it get sunk right in, learning how to let thoughts of self harm, panic, self hate pass through like visitors… nice to see you but it’s always nice to see you go ….

Daily habits, as mentioned in last post,

So if you wanted, for example to be a concert pianist, it does not happen overnight, first you would get the resources, piano, music books, then you would go to someone that already knows how to play the piano, you would get lessons, then you would take on board what they have taught, because they are the person that have already done it, then you would practice what you have been taught until you are familiar with it, trained your muscle memory, then go back to the person that has more knowledge than you and go through the cycle again, you get my drift. Well these steps are the same for everything.

I want to feel better, spoiler alert…. it is not going to happen over night, so I am going to need resources, I am going to need to learn from someone or people that have learnt how to feel better, I am going to need to take on board what they have to say, now for the big one…. PRACTICE what they have suggested, then when I want to learn more and am ready for the next step go back to the people that have learnt more than me and carry on the cycle.

Recap

Resources
Expert ….. Oh I hate that word… expert… a drip under pressure!!!! A person that knows more than I do, yes I know, I don’t know everything
Practice
Keep repeating

What I am going to do in the coming year, I am going to share what resources I am and have used, including books, YouTube videos, pinterest and my best resource good old fashioned pen and paper. The people I have gone to that have and help me, whether that is someone I have never met but their writings have inspired me, to the people around in my life. How I practice, how I make time in my busy life of working in the ambulance service and now starting a second job in a mental health hospital, a family, grandchildren, dogs, you know all those time zappers. And how I find the motivation to keep going, what helps me, what stops me sinking into the pit with my dark passenger. And if any of this helps you then great! But if it does not then I am helping someone, I am helping me.

Love to you all x

Review, Reflect, Reborn

Posted on December 31, 2017 by Small Steps

Wow 2017 what a year you have been. I started the year buying a page a day diary and wrote on page one in big letters….

This year is about self-help

Heal myself
No more hurt
Say no when I want to

As a child at school I was always a secret daily writer, and considering I was named as one of the thickos, in special classes, later labeled as dyslexic ,I kept a Dear Diary everyday and I still have those now… I’ve read them through, they are no Adrian Mole but a reminder of those times. I did not write about my feelings in those times because of the fear of someone reading it but what it did unknowingly teach me was about daily habits.

Daily habits have been my saving grace this year. I am a great believer in small daily habits. It’s trendy and traditional at this time of year to be setting your New Year resolutions, which really are another word for setting goals. But how many of us keep them up? And why is that? Many reasons I suppose, time, motivation, self discipline, goal feels too big because there’s no plan in place, fear, self talk, the kids need picking up, the tea needs cooking, where is your PE kit?, oh shit the dog just peed on the carpet, Aunt Bessie is ill, my nails need cutting, new series of Game of Thrones is about to start, why did you not tell me you needed to be dressed as a book character today, as we are walking out the door!!!! The list is endless.

Back to my words I wrote at the beginning of the year,

How was I going heal myself?
How am I going to have no more hurt?
How am I going to find the balls to stand up and say no when I want to?

This is what I have been asking myself in 2017, because to be honest with you they are massive asks aren’t they, ones that because of forty six years of learnt behaviours, negative ways of thinking, environments and people that have shaped me, all this I am going to have to change to reach the holy grail of happiness!

How am I, in the words of Russell Brand am I going to ‘unfuck’ myself?’

What are the things that have helped towards my written words I wrote?…. You notice I don’t like to use the words ‘goal’, ‘resolutions’ because I feel that puts me under to much pressure to achieve, and then I feel a failure or a loser or weak if I don’t achieve. These are just words, thoughts, no pressure, so what if I miss a day it does not matter, I can start again tomorrow, new day, new beginning, no failures just small steps, and as long as those steps are taken it is a step forward.

So here are the words I wrote a couple of days in my diary…

I am hoping over 2018, and what I have written down in my new diary is, I want to help people like me that want to unfuck themselves, maybe share with people that want to read it how I am doing it, instead of keeping my writings to myself, share some of it.

Questions to ponder…

How have you done this year?
How do you feel today?
What words would you write for next year?

Love to you all x

3 Things I Am Grateful For Today…

Posted on July 19, 2017 by Small Steps

Freedom

Today I had the freedom to wake when I chose, freedom to make a cuppa tea, freedom to get back into a comfy bed, freedom of technology, freedom of my own choice, freedom to make my own decisions, if I want to go back to sleep , I can, if I want to get up and go out, I can, freedom is a beautiful thing.

Health

Today I woke up and and have the gift of a new day, I can walk without pain, I can breath without a struggle. I can see the beautiful world around me and can hear my radio and my family.

Family

Whether that is my blood family or my chosen family, they are here if I need them, here to make me smile, here to listen to me, just here.

What are you grateful for today?

From the smallest thing…

Warm cup of tea, clean sheets, day off work, stroll down to the shop, birds singing, fresh air…