Oh What a Circus, Oh What a Show

Staying out of other peoples drama, is my todays thought…..

I have been so guilty of it in the past and am still now but more mindful of it and to stop it in its tracks. I seem to attract myself to people that are ‘drama queens’, always something major going on with there life. If you have been a bit ill with the sniffles, then they have had ‘Arabian Night flu” and the doctors said it was touch and go they nearly died! You know the kind of people I am talking about we all have them in our lives, some are as close as family members, when you think, yes finally they are settled got themselves a nice house job girlfriend…. Oh no what’s happened now… To people we work with, friends etc

I think why I am saying all of this is what has helped me in my ‘I want to feel better’ quest is to distance myself from those people, not get fully hooked in, not join their parade, and start swinging the batons around with them.

It does sound selfish really I know but they are energy zappers, spirit suckers, thought drainers.

  • So I step out of the ring
  • I let them know I still love them
  • I am saving the energy for me

love to you all x

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Where Do I Start?

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Here it is then a new year, beginning of a new week, new beginnings la de da… how many times have we heard that over this last week, the pressure of it all, thinking ‘shit’ if I don’t start something new today it will be too late, then that’s it I’ve failed before I have even started, now I have to wait till next year…..

And STOP its ok its not too late, it never is, it’s always a good time to start, the only time when it is to late is when we are dead!

I know that does sound a bit morbid but it is true, doing the job I do, I’m seeing them in and seeing them out and all the in between, and one thing I am sure about until you take your last breath there is always time, hope. Now don’t get me wrong I have my days and I am not ashamed to say, well I was but I’m learning to accept them, I have suffered from depression, I still suffer anxiety on a daily basis, panic overwhelming me like a wave of water over taking my head and body and this is what I was talking about in my last post, how do I get over this…over…wrong word, I don’t think I will ever get over, but what I am doing is learning how to manage, learning how not to let it get sunk right in, learning how to let thoughts of self harm, panic, self hate pass through like visitors… nice to see you but it’s always nice to see you go ….

Daily habits, as mentioned in last post,

So if you wanted, for example to be a concert pianist, it does not happen overnight, first you would get the resources, piano, music books, then you would go to someone that already knows how to play the piano, you would get lessons, then you would take on board what they have taught, because they are the person that have already done it, then you would practice what you have been taught until you are familiar with it, trained your muscle memory, then go back to the person that has more knowledge than you and go through the cycle again, you get my drift. Well these steps are the same for everything.

I want to feel better, spoiler alert…. it is not going to happen over night, so I am going to need resources, I am going to need to learn from someone or people that have learnt how to feel better, I am going to need to take on board what they have to say, now for the big one…. PRACTICE what they have suggested, then when I want to learn more and am ready for the next step go back to the people that have learnt more than me and carry on the cycle.

Recap

  • Resources
  • Expert ….. Oh I hate that word… expert… a drip under pressure!!!! A person that knows more than I do, yes I know, I don’t know everything
  • Practice
  • Keep repeating

What I am going to do in the coming year, I am going to share what resources I am and have used, including books, YouTube videos, pinterest and my best resource good old fashioned pen and paper. The people I have gone to that have and help me, whether that is someone I have never met but their writings have inspired me, to the people around in my life. How I practice, how I make time in my busy life of working in the ambulance service and now starting a second job in a mental health hospital, a family, grandchildren, dogs, you know all those time zappers. And how I find the motivation to keep going, what helps me, what stops me sinking into the pit with my dark passenger. And if any of this helps you then great! But if it does not then I am helping someone, I am helping me.

Love to you all x

Review, Reflect, Reborn

Wow 2017 what a year you have been. I started the year buying a page a day diary and wrote on page one in big letters….

This year is about self-help

  • Heal myself
  • No more hurt
  • Say no when I want to

As a child at school I was always a secret daily writer, and considering I was named as one of the thickos, in special classes, later labeled as dyslexic ,I kept a Dear Diary everyday and I still have those now… I’ve read them through, they are no Adrian Mole but a reminder of those times. I did not write about my feelings in those times because of the fear of someone reading it but what it did unknowingly teach me was about daily habits.

Daily habits have been my saving grace this year. I am a great believer in small daily habits. It’s trendy and traditional at this time of year to be setting your New Year resolutions, which really are another word for setting goals. But how many of us keep them up? And why is that? Many reasons I suppose, time, motivation, self discipline, goal feels too big because there’s no plan in place, fear, self talk, the kids need picking up, the tea needs cooking, where is your PE kit?, oh shit the dog just peed on the carpet, Aunt Bessie is ill, my nails need cutting, new series of Game of Thrones is about to start, why did you not tell me you needed to be dressed as a book character today, as we are walking out the door!!!! The list is endless.

Back to my words I wrote at the beginning of the year,

  • How was I going heal myself?
  • How am I going to have no more hurt?
  • How am I going to find the balls to stand up and say no when I want to?

This is what I have been asking myself in 2017, because to be honest with you they are massive asks aren’t they, ones that because of forty six years of learnt behaviours, negative ways of thinking, environments and people that have shaped me, all this I am going to have to change to reach the holy grail of happiness!

How am I, in the words of Russell Brand am I going to ‘unfuck’ myself?’

What are the things that have helped towards my written words I wrote?…. You notice I don’t like to use the words ‘goal’, ‘resolutions’ because I feel that puts me under to much pressure to achieve, and then I feel a failure or a loser or weak if I don’t achieve. These are just words, thoughts, no pressure, so what if I miss a day it does not matter, I can start again tomorrow, new day, new beginning, no failures just small steps, and as long as those steps are taken it is a step forward.

So here are the words I wrote a couple of days in my diary…

 

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I am hoping over 2018, and what I have written down in my new diary is, I want to help people like me that want to unfuck themselves, maybe share with people that want to read it how I am doing it, instead of keeping my writings to myself, share some of it.

Questions to ponder…

  • How have you done this year?
  • How do you feel today?
  • What words would you write for next year?

Love to you all x

First day of school, teachers plea!

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A few of you were showing interest in knowing what would help your child be prepared for school, and give them a good start on their road of education. I work with Year one at the moment which is the 5/6 years olds, and there are definitely things you could be doing to help with the foundations of their education. So here is an insight of what we do at school with your blossoms and some things you could be doing at home to help them along a bit.

    Maths
  • A large proportion of children struggle with is counting the teen numbers. So when counting with them always go to at least 20. (oh just a little note, can it be thirteen instead of ferteen)
  • Seeing the numbers written down, so they recognize them
  • Knowing numbers out of context, for example, children learn to count up in ones by rote but ask them a number out of order, you then know if they really know what it really is and what it looks like.
  • For the bright ones counting up in tens would be helpful, because we teach them in year one their 10, 5, and 2 timetables.
  • The best way to help your child learn about counting and counting on, adding, is good old fashioned board games. Because the first thing we teach them is counting on, adding, and counting back, taking away. But we cannot do any of this until they have got the basic counting up and back in ones and recognising their numbers.
    • Literacy
  • We all know that reading every day with your child helps them with their writing and reading. It’s not only about reading to them but about asking them about the story, getting them to talk about what is happening in a picture. Making up imaginative stories getting them to finish stories off. The talking comes before the writing. If a child cannot explain it to you in words then there is no way they can put it down in writing.
  • It is so helpful that at this age they can write their name. They should have had a lot of practise with this in reception class.
  • If you are starting to practise writing at home, make sure that you are using lower case letters because many children for some reason write in capital letters. I think this is partly down to the computer keyboard they see the letters at an early age on the keyboard and of cause it is all in capitals.
  • Knowing the names of the letters as well as the sound of a letter is good too. We always ask for the name and the sound because they need to be able to sound out a word and be able to write those letters.
  • Last little plea…It would so help my day, because it takes up so much time if not, can…

    • all the jumpers have their names on
    • children can put their own socks on
    • use a knife and fork
    • practice putting their new coat on and off, doing the zip up!
    • and have manners

    I thought it might be a nice and helpful idea to offer any advice to parents who child is first starting school in September, just from a teacher’s point of view! Obviously all schools do things in different ways, but the worries are still the same!
    Maybe questions about the curriculum, homework, making friends, what’s helpful for children to know before starting school to help them along, reading books, general routine in schools, questions like that. I don’t promise to know everything but I will do my best!
    So go on fire away, what do you want to know?

    Advice!

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    If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

    I think the best two pieces of advice I have had whilst growing up and that have stuck with me, is,

    1. Always walk out the door looking your best. I definitely follow this one. Hair and makeup always needs to be on for me to face the world, because it it sods law you will bump into someone you haven’t seen in years when you have just dragged your arse out of bed, shoved your joggers on, licked your hair down, not bothered with your contact lenses and your breath smells like dog shit!

    2. Always walk into a room as if you own it. This is a great bit of advice if you lack a little confidence. It is all about faking it. People always say to me how confident I come across as, but inside I’m a scared little child. If I walk into a posh hotel or into a pub I always stride in imagining that I am the owner, it gives you an ‘air’ about you and people treat you differently, try it, it works!

    Thanks for dropping by! X

    p.s I took this picture today on my way home, it’s just next to my house, lovely sky isn’t it! X

    Primary Teachers Wish List…

    A few of you were showing interest in knowing what would help your child be prepared for school, and give them a good start on their road of education. I work with Year one at the moment which is the 5/6 years olds, and there are definitely things you could be doing to help with the foundations of their education. So here is an insight of what we do at school with your blossoms and some things you could be doing at home to help them along a bit.

    Maths

    • A large proportion of children struggle with is counting the teen numbers. So when counting with them always go to at least 20. (oh just a little note, can it be thirteen instead of ferteen)
    • Seeing the numbers written down, so they recognize them
    • Knowing numbers out of context, for example, children learn to count up in ones by rote but ask them a number out of order, you then know if they really know what it really is and what it looks like.
    • For the bright ones counting up in tens would be helpful, because we teach them in year one their 10, 5, and 2 timetables.
    • The best way to help your child learn about counting and counting on, adding, is good old fashioned board games. Because the first thing we teach them is counting on, adding, and counting back, taking away. But we cannot do any of this until they have got the basic counting up and back in ones and recognising their numbers.

    Literacy

    • We all know that reading every day with your child helps them with their writing and reading. It’s not only about reading to them but about asking them about the story, getting them to talk about what is happening in a picture. Making up imaginative stories getting them to finish stories off. The talking comes before the writing. If a child cannot explain it to you in words then there is no way they can put it down in writing.
    • It is so helpful that at this age they can write their name. They should have had a lot of practise with this in reception class.
    • If you are starting to practise writing at home, make sure that you are using lower case letters because many children for some reason write in capital letters. I think this is partly down to the computer keyboard they see the letters at an early age on the keyboard and of cause it is all in capitals.
    • Knowing the names of the letters as well as the sound of a letter is good too. We always ask for the name and the sound because they need to be able to sound out a word and be able to write those letters.

    Last little plea

    It would so help my day, because it takes up so much time if not, can…

    • all the jumpers have their names on
    • children can put their own socks on
    • use a knife and fork
    • and have manners

    thanks xx